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What is up With Women?
by Thomas McKenney
, from the February 2003 issue of the SHS Saber Scribe (High school newspaper)

    A guy can spend his entire life trying to figure out the female sex, but the mystery of females remains elusive. Sometimes males feel like the only reason women were put on this earth was to make our lives hell. While females have many positive attributes, they often use these to cloud the male thought process.
    The differences between the two genders are astounding. First, the female sex generally overanalyzes every situation in life. Men have to be cautious whenever they talk to a female, because females take every minute statement and blow it up like a helium balloon. Men have learned over time to agree with everything ladies say, because if we don't, we dig ourselves into a hole.
    There are many "necessities" in life for both males and females. Females have more "necessities" in life than men. Can we say high maintenance? On average it takes a male 5 to 30 minutes to get ready. In the time it takes women to get everything "perfect," we could have made it to the restaurant, ordered, and be finishing dessert. Just what exactly are they doing in there for 15 to 90 minutes? Men waste hours upon hours waiting for women. And then, we have to pay for dinner, buy presents, drive them places, and let them decide what to do. That is, of course, if the men, like us sophomores, are gentlemen.
    There may be certain times when women have the right to be "moody," and most guys accept that. But when this so called "mood" lasts the whole month, guys have a right to get aggravated.
    Another thing, how come girls always have to have their way? This is a question that many men cannot answer due to the experiences they have encountered. The irony of this whole situation is that when they do get their way, women still aren't happy; the whole cycle of abuse starts again.